Parisian dialect.

Posted by Mydnight on July 24, 2015

You will need 5 days. Not because the sprawling expanse of France’s capital city is oppressive and obstacle-full; it’s because the locals move quickly through the public transport hubs and that’s the only situation in which they are actually spry. I had dinner in a great local restaurant/cafe/bar called Le Plomb du Cantal and it cost nearly 4 hours. Where we sat, there were several folks that had been there since the afternoon and were still there carousing as we departed. Time is unrelenting to those that lack it and unforgiving to them that need it.

I was absolutely abashed at their dinner culture. Afterall, I hail from a country where we eat fried chicken and pizza with our hands and live in a country where you could encounter a deficating baby being held aloft outside the door of a restaurant. I was unable to wield fork and knife anywhere near an adult level and the lack of glasses upon the table amused the bartender.

Yeah…5 euros.

A negative level in French while traveling in France is shy but bearable. They laugh at your ignorance in a forgivable way if you fain attempt and utter a few pathetic words. Be wary, those that don’t respect the French language, you might be barred service or accosted. Nod and smile, grin and nod.  

Notre Dame is a massive facility, dripping with history and gargoyles burnt by acid rain. It’s worthy a few visits, but the trip to the towers is debatable. You could get a good view of the city and the surrounds from Montmartre or Sacre-Coeur without the hour+ queue.  A great afternoon could be spent just walking about the small islet that houses this gothic cathedral. Views of the Seine’s many bridges and bikini clad sunbathers are some of the other sites. Small streets also house hidden gems. I found a place that fresh squeezes OJ for 5eu a liter. Totally destroyed my jet lag.

The Louvre is a must but either do research before entering or grab your audio guide for 5 euro (for the apt: rumors circulate that the audio guide was pirated online). It’s like any major museum or temple – sans a specific understanding of what you are looking at, it all gets to be extreme in culture. You’ll suffer painting boredom. It was too post modern watching people selfie with the Mona Lisa and Venus de Milo. Is it deemed evolution to photograph ancient works of art or forgery? Plagurism? It seems ugly behavior to me. Why can’t they just stand and enjoy?

The cemetery that holds Jim Morrison’s bones closed at half 5. Missed it. People ARE strange.

The tower is the tower. The cost to go up is against backpacker norms and oozes tourist, just find a nice hill to snapshot from. It’s free and with no pickpockets.Two.point.Five days is a sad attempt at conquering Paris and merely breaks the egg’s skin. I missed the snobbery that this place is famous for. Being told to pointlessly stand at the bar to be seated by the boss after the waiter told us to sit down wasn’t that at all, it was education. He was teaching me how it’s supposed to be. Thanks for the unforgettable lesson in the Parsian dialect. I will ask for a table using it when I return.

Now on a second class sleeper to Nice. Will get some pics up when I remember how I did it last time.

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By the Liter.

Posted by Mydnight on October 16, 2014

Real men drink beer by the liter. Beer isn’t meant to be sipped, and with a liter, one huge slug won’t half your glass.

What is this nonsense with with ounces and pounds anyway. Metric is so much more logical.



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GT Club

Posted by Mydnight on September 23, 2014

“Beer?” “Ya, don’t want to drop several hundred on misinformed booze.” One hundred and fifty RMB later, we were faced with six sad cans of Budweiser between the two of us. We were informed of the occasional promotion where 220 can get you 24 cans instead of the usual 12, but it still wasn’t very appealing. “I don’t think this is the kind of place I would bring my girlfriend,” Liu said. It’s the kind of place I wouldn’t even bring someone else’s.

“What do you make of those lights? It’s like Disco Inferno meets Close Encounters of the Third Kind.” Liu chuckled missing the references, “It’s to see the girls clearer; people like shiny lights. It’s comforting to them.” The exterior is simply sleazy. It’s looks pre-adult entertainment crackdown with its LED runners flashing in a random patterns around the entry way. We drank our warm beer from shot glasses and waited for something to happen as the place felt as if some eruption was imminent. The floor in the center of the bar is raised like a cat walk and the girls occasionally pranced along it to Timber, mimicking with suggestive, faux-burlesque gestures. “I think I am in love,” Liu smirked, pointing at a leggy lady in a dress more resembling a loin cloth.

“Man, the prices on the menu are pretty shocking. This is absolutely not the kind of place to frequent to save some dimes.” “It’s a bit of old Dongguan for me,” Liu said, “back when expense accounts would be reimbursed with no questions asked. More than a thousand for a bottle of alcohol was nothing in the past.” The uneasy bartender kept trying to push modestly priced Long Islands and Mojitos on us like a corner dealer; a low quota could mean his job. “Yes, coming here has definitely been an education, surreal even.” Ms. Leggy playfully blew a kiss to Liu and he turned beet red.

“Pretty nice big screen, though. We could have some mad parties here with the right music.” “It’s a bit too backstreet for me,” Liu remarked. Actually, he was right, GT Club is situated behind two or three other clubs and down an alley away from any main thoroughfares. “Far enough away from accountability for you?” “Exactly,” he smiled.

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Posted by Mydnight on September 18, 2014

I have found that I am a mean sober.

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