Archive for May, 2014

Downward Formosa

Friday, May 2nd, 2014

I seek human experience when I travel. Where they go, what they fear, their ideas on contraception, what they eat and drink, how many times a day they shower, what they think they see, what makes them smile and what makes them kill. Scenic areas for travelers are ubiquitously brutish; constructs on the desire to ‘see something.’ I can face an empty wall and hallucinate emotions. I can sit on a curb with a beer in hand and see more. What did you see in America after you spent 4 months there? She said she saw nothing.

You wonder how long I will be gone and I cannot give a time. If you have no destination, can you actually be lost? The cardinal directions mingled with transit doesn’t equal a point of reference. What are you seeking? Small ants impotently crawl over my feet; pincers sheering steel.

I seek existence because I am inhuman? Because I bare teeth and grimace; gnawing bones and chewing iron? Am I seeking torture or ravishment? I travel for people. I want to see them. I want to devour them; to be them. To digest their perception. To be bohemian. Staring at an empty field, I can see more. I am grim malice and hopeful benevolence. What did you see? She said she saw nothing. She never sees. Eyes, opulently disconcerted. She doesn’t see.

She lives in a boutique existence. Downsized and uncommercial but doubly consumeristic. She thinks she is being chic. She’s alternative cliche. Anti-nonconformist. Some drink to numb it; she thrives. I held her. The shock of orgasm. I drink to stop it.

Years later I asked her what she saw. She said, ‘I saw you.’

Gaokshong is being slowly abandoned. It’s a process; like mummification or decay. First, empty store fronts, then other cities steal your workers and finally commerce dies. Everything looks aged. It’s like China but cleaner and safer with better food and beer.