Mydnight’s TESL FAI version 1.0

 

General Note to Readers:  This is a work in progress and will be updated as more information and time becomes available.

　

So, you’ve decided to embark on an adventure in some other random country and exploit your native language, eh?  Whether it’s a break in the daily rigors of Western life you desire, or just to travel to a different land, most of your experiences in TESL-world will be novel and wonderful.  It’s important to listen to those that traveled before you, so here are some words of advice for you.  This FAI (frequently asked information) is mainly for those decidedly going to China, but for those that wish to go to other countries, it generally will be helpful. 

 

Advice on Shopping

 

It’s free.  Always ask people to help you.  If you want to go to the store and buy a roll of toilet paper, firstly ask someone to go with you and help.  When you first arrive at your destination town, especially if you are in a smaller Chinese town, you will immediately become known as “the foreigner”; a catchy title but it garners no benefits.  “The foreigner” is always charged two or three times the price of even the most typical items, such as toilet paper, because in the Chinese businessmen’s eyes, you’re rich.  It may have never occurred to you that you’re rich, but you are!  And, don’t think you can tell them any different because they are as omniscient Greek oracles.  If you have a desire to be independent, it could be a costly enterprise and you may find yourself using your salary on rubbish.

 

It’s wise to explore the city and near your home thoroughly for shops that are selling good quality merchandise.  If you’re not careful, you could end up spending twice the amount than a normal citizen of the city for a piece of junk rice cooker that will break in a few days.  Developing relationships with shopkeepers by always buying in the same places also helps in saving a few quan.  This could take the upwards of a month, but once you have investigated all the stores and know where to get items, life will become easier. 

 

China operates under Communism, not Capitalism.  This means that there is little of the market competition that the West is driven by; which also means poor quality items flood the market and shops.  If there is no competition to make a better product, then it simply will not happen.  Most businessmen have this logic:  Why waste money on bettering your stock when you don’t have to?  Bartering is also a side effect of this lack of competition.  Do not accept the first price unless it’s at a supermarket where the prices are already set, even if there is a price tag on the box.  Refusing to barter will cost you double or triple the price of an item because you are lao wai, and all foreigners are rich even if you just graduated from college and are in debt several thousands of dollars; starting to see the circuitous logic?  Therein lies another problem, you can’t barter because you don’t know the language and that’s where asking for help is useful.  Do it, no matter how independent you think you are! 

 

Culture

 

To you it will seem haphazard, inexplicable and completely illogical, but it’s dubbed as culture.  From eating pets, to men kissing other men on the mouth but never touching their wives, this is the one vexation that will always make you lao wai in their eyes.  The most annoying part is that the customs seem to change from person to person, house to house, town to town, region to region, and province to province.  Purchasing a book on “Chinese Customs and Culture” is a waste of 15 bucks, really.  The only way to know the customs of where you’re going is to go there, unless you come across a local that can attempt to explain a few ditties to you before you embark on your terminal journey.  There are a few universals that seem to hold in all the regions, and keep in mind you will be forgiven for breaking SOME customs because you are a foreigner, but not all. 

 

Firstly, the most jarring custom:  Prepare to be fondled by members of your same sex and shunned by members of the opposite sex.  Opposite sex relations, due to strict traditions that are not compatible at all with Western countries, are not encouraged unless the person is at least 20.  Ergo, it is unsightly and even seen as “wrong” for a student or someone under 20 to have a boyfriend or girlfriend.  You will often incite riotous laughter from others or anger if you accuse a someone of having a relationship even in a joking manner, so make sure you thoroughly explain the meaning of “joke” if you decide to do so.  Between the sexes in public, even among married couples, there is hardly any physical contact that is acceptable other than walking side-by-side and brushing against one another occasionally.  Be wary if you decide to make contact with the opposite sex, even if it’s a pat on the back.  Also, keep it in mind that sex is totally out of the question unless you plan to get married with the person that you’ve taken a liking to. 

 

Language

 

Unless you brought your own book and have an existing repertoire with the language or have skills in learning languages, don’t think you’ll wade much deeper than the beginning level of Chinese.  The hardship is multifaceted, and begins with your mouth.  One of the lovely evolutions of the Western tongue is palatalization, which is just a big word that means, “pronouncing sounds further forward in the mouth.”  As Westerners, we have a natural propensity to do this subconsciously thanks to the history of our language.  In the family of languages that Chinese belongs to (Sino-Tibetan), palatalization never occurred, so sounds are pronounced further back in the mouth.  Why does this matter at all in your day-to-day life, you ask?  Simple:  It will be exceedingly difficult to nearly impossible for you to pronounce even the simplest words where any given person can understand you.  The slightest accidental aspiration in a word can change the meaning of the word drastically.  The Chinese are also accustomed to hearing words pronounced in the back of the mouth as well as their accent.  You won’t be understood most of the time even if you speak a word exactly the same as someone else.  I recommend getting some sort of small book, that you can have with you at all times with useful phrases and words in Chinese that you can point to rather than having to speak.  Ask the person that you’re trying to communicate with to tell you the correct pronunciation, and they will often happily aid a foreigner in learning their language.  This will ease your annoyance tenfold. 

 

Chinese and all of the Sino-Tibetan languages are tonal.  You will find that tonality is another aggravating aspect of the language because one word can have up four or five totally different meanings depending on how you say it:  There are rising tone words, falling tone words, rising-falling tone words, and flat tone words.  Knowing this from a FAQ or a book will not give you the proper pronunciation necessary to have someone understand you when you try to speak.  The only way to learn how to speak is to speak with native Chinese people.  Keep in mind that all people’s voices sound different, so it will sound as if each person you encounter is pronouncing the words differently. 

 

Another lovely problem that you face is dialects; in my opinion this is the most taxing difficulty.  Dialectical regions for languages occur in Western countries, but not to the severity as they do in China.  Somehow, a single language has magically been severed into many different offshoot languages (could number in the 1000s) that are as localized as a household on a farm in the middle of the forest:  it seems that each house can have it’s own dialect.  There are three main and accepted dialects that are nearly solely spoken in the provinces that they originated:  Mandarin (Putonghua), Cantonese (Guangdonghua), and Sichuan dialect (Sichuanhua).  Yes, these languages are indeed Chinese, but they are so different that a person speaking one of these dialects will not be understood by anyone else in the world except for those that can speak the dialect.  Beijing Mandarian is the standard, but only people in large cities can speak it, so don’t expect to get the 100% correct translation on words…ever.  There are competitions to gauge that can speak the best Mandarin, if that explains the seriousness of the lack of Putonghua-speaking people in China.  Communication is a staid issue, and herein is the problem you face in learning the language.  It is a must to try not to learn local or regional dialect in your studies, but try to learn Mandarin.  How are you to learn Mandarin without anyone in your town that can speak it?  You can’t, that’s the problem. 

 

Food

 

Delicious.  For two to three weeks, everything will poor out of you with the consistency of runny oatmeal, but it’s delicious on the consumption end.  If you’re unaccustomed to using chopsticks, I recommend you visiting some Chinese restaurants before you come.  Most restaurants simply do not have Western silverware, so if you cannot adapt in this respect, you perhaps should bring some with you. 

 

There are many customs at the dinner table that seem to be standard throughout.  You will find that when the dishes are first set on the table, you will be the first to get to try a dish.  The meat dishes are always set near you because meat is seen as the more important food in China, so if you like vegetables, you’re out of luck.  Also, vegetarianism is usually seen as taboo in the smaller areas in China, so if you are one, expect to get odd looks at the dinner table. 

 

Drinking alcohol is an important part of a Chinese dinner.  Even though it may appear slightly silly, nearly every person at the table will want to toast to you to show that they respect you.  If you do not like drinking, expect to be not a very popular person to go to dinner with.  The same is expected with smoking.  Even if you are deathly allergic to cigarettes and refuse over and over, you insult them by not taking the cigarette and smoking with them. 

 

What should I bring?

 

This depends on how adaptable you consider yourself.  Small-town China will not have certain toiletries like mouthwash or even deodorant (many Chinese people don’t wear deodorant), so if you can live for X amount of time without these things, go ahead.  For those less calm in their adaptability, bring an entire extra bag devoted to these things.  Clothing is off less importance than items that will make you feel comfortable, though keep in mind shopping for clothing in China is vexing because all of the clothing will be too small if you are taller than the average sized Chinese person.

 

What to expect?

 

You’re a star. 

 

Contracts

 

They can magically change before your eyes, so if you do decide to sign a contract with a TESL company, make sure the primary, secondary, and tertiary contracts that you may have to sign have all of the benefits and salaries that you’re promised.  If you sign on for eight years with little pay accidentally, repair to the nearest embassy and threaten to leave.  Perhaps the boss of the company that you work for, upon seeing the seriousness of your desire to get what you want, will see their egregious mistake, and mend it.  Native speakers are always in demand in China; don’t let yourself get into a bind with no option of departure.